Slow Champion No. 1: Luigi Malabrocca

So here he is, our number one in the lowdown of the top 10 Slow Champions:

Luigi Malabrocca - King of the Slow Cyclists

Born in 1920, Malabrocca, an Italian cyclist, won the maglia nera (the black jersey awarded to the last placed rider) in the Giro d’Italia not once but twice! Such was his determination to win the corsa all’ultimo posto (the race for last place) that he would regularly stop and fake a puncture, take an aperitif at the bar, change his wheels and even stop to eat lunch with his many fans. His ‘wins’ took place in 1946 and 1947, and he would have won a third title in 1949 had the race officials not gone home after getting bored waiting for him.

There are those who may suggest that Malabrocca had simply found a good wheeze – he became a celebrity and received a lot of money; he didn’t have to race too hard, appeared in films and was once randomly given a sheep (which he immediately handed over to the hotel’s chef) – but we like to think of him as an innovator and an athlete way ahead of his time.

The black jersey was abolished in 1951 for its negative connotations, but it does live on in the hearts and minds of those who appreciate a good Slow Cycle, and is still recognised among the cycling elite. Currently, the last place rider of the Giro d’Italia is presented with a plate of his backnumber in white on a black background; a subtle nod in recognition of the race for last place.

We look forward to meeting a few more Slow Champions in London Fields this Sunday, and can’t wait to see you all battling it out in the race for last place.

Slow Champion No. 2: Shizo Kanakuri

This one's for all those attempting the marathon next year.

Shizo Kanakuri - slowest marathon

In 1912, Kanakuri entered the 1912 Summer Olympic marathon in Stockholm. He'd been clocking some impressive times in the previous year and had even recorded a marathon world record, although there was some disagreement about the distance of that particular course. This marathon however, wasn't going to be his best showing. Due to the stifling heat, he lost consciousness part way through the race and was cared for by a local farming family. For whatever reason, he decided to return to Japan immediately and got on the first ship home. What he neglected to do was inform the Swedish authorities.

In the eyes of the Olympic and Swedish officials, Kanakuri had simply disappeared. He was officially listed as a missing person and nobody bothered to check if he'd gone home. You have to remember that this was 1912 and were this to happen today, race officials could simply look at his twitter feed to check his progress ('Passed out, gone home. Don't like Sweden anymore.').

Even though Kanakuri raced in the 1920 Olympics, he was still listed as missing in Sweden. As he hadn't retired from the race but had simple gone AWOL, the clock was still ticking..

In 1962, a Swedish journalist tracked down Kanakuri (i.e. he called him at his home) and told him what had happened. In 1966 he was invited back to finish his race and clocked a time of 54 years, 8 months, 6 days, 8 hours, 32 minutes and 20.3 seconds. He was 75.

In his heyday, he was know in Japan as the Father of Marathons. To us, he's a true Slow Champion.

Slow Champion(s) No. 3: Eric Moussabani and Paula Barila Bolopa

You just can’t separate these two.

 Eric Moussambani & Paula Barila Bolopa - slowest swimmers. Ever.

In 2000, they were neck and neck for the Olympic swimming equivalent of the Slow Cycle – last place in the pool. Eric Moussambani in the 100m freestyle; Paula Barila Bolopa the 50m freestyle. Neither athlete, both from Equatorial New Guinea, had swum in a 50m pool before their heat, both took their time getting out again.

Eric Moussambani finished in a time of 1 minute 52.72 seconds, over double the time of Pieter van den Hoogenband who won gold in 48.30 seconds. But who is the real winner? Here at the Slow Cycle it took us 10 minutes to find out who won the 100m freestyle, let alone how to spell his name, whereas EVERYONE knows who Eric the Eel is. A true Slow Champion and ambassador.

Paula Bolopa took 1 minute and 3.97 seconds to finish her heat in the 50m freestyle. The other competitor in the heat had a whole 37 seconds to get her breath back before Paula finished. Paula the Crawler was born.

Both athletes became superstars overnight as the world’s press leaped over themselves in an effort to be the first to portray their never give in, never surrender attitude as the true Olympic spirit™. Remember Liontien van Moorsel or Jenny Thompson? Course you don’t, they only won 3 Gold medals each. Slow rules. Kneel before Eric Moussambani and Paula Barila Bolopa, true Slow Champions.

Slow Champion No. 4: Jackie Cobell

It's a 21 mile swim from Dover to Calais, but for our next Slow Champion, that wasn't quite enough.

Jackie Cobell - Slowest (and longest) Channel Crossing.

On Saturday 24 July 2010 at 6.40am, Jackie launched herself into the channel from Shakespeare Beach in Kent. She'd been planning this for 5 years, had trained every day and was regularly swimming 20 miles a week. She had spent time in the pool, swam across lakes and trained in the sea. With all this work, she'd estimated that it would take her 20-21 hours to make the crossing.

The tide in the English Channel flows North East for 1.5 hours before High Tide and 4.5 hours after, then it switches 180 degrees and flows South West until 1.5 hours before High Tide and the cycle starts again. Then you have to take into account the gravitation pull on the water mass from the sun and the moon, which varies depending on the position of the moon and creates Spring and Neap tides. Confused? So was Jackie..

28 hours and 44 minutes after leaving Kent, Jackie finally landed on French soil, beating the 87 year record of Henry Sullivan for the slowest crossing by nearly 2 hours!

For battling tides with a pull of 4 nautical miles an hour (a good swimmer can swim 1.4nm an hour), not giving up through injury, exhaustion and raising a vast amount of money for research into Huntingdon's disease, she is a true champion, slow or otherwise.

Slow Champion No. 5: John Isner

You probably know this one already, if not for the length of the match then for all the media reports on John McEnroe kicking out a couple of Japanese tourists so he could get in on the action.

John Isner - Longest tennis match

On the 22nd June, John Isner of the USA met Frenchman Nicholas Mahut in the first round of Wimbledon 2010. They met again on the 23rd. And the 24th. 183 games later and with over 11 hours of play behind them, Isner limped to victory, beating Mahut 6-4, 3-6, 6-7 (7-9), 7-6 (7-3), 70-68.

Isner crashed out in the next round but to us and all those who prefer a slower approach to everything in life, both these men are true Slow Champions.

Prostate UK have released advice on cycling with prostate disease

Can cycling affect the prostate?
If you have a prostate problem, be it prostatitis, benign prostate hyperplasia or even prostate cancer, cycling can be uncomfortable, but having any of these conditions shouldn’t necessarily limit or curtail your enjoyment of a sport that has a lot of health benefits. Fighting any disease is always easier when you are in good shape and cycling is a good way of keeping fit.

Cycling may cause a transient rise in PSA (prostate-specific antigen) level and should be avoided 24 hours before a PSA test which is used to gauge prostate health.

I’ve had surgery on my prostate, should I be cycling?
If you have recently undergone surgery, you should avoid cycling. Most surgeons will advise that you avoid cycling (and activities such as motorcycling and horse riding) for at least 6 weeks after surgery.

I’ve heard rumours that cycling can lead to impotence. Is this true?
There is no confirmed link between cycling and impotence (erectile dysfunction). There is anecdotal and limited clinical evidence which seems to confirm that prolonged cycling can cause temporary numbness and discomfort in the penis and perineum (groin).

How might riding a bike do that?
The very nature of cycling means that riders can spend a long period of time in the saddle, which may put pressure on the nerves and arteries that supply the penis and surrounding area. Compromise of these neurovascular structures can lead to periods of numbness, but if symptoms do occur, it’s usually not for a prolonged period of time.

As cycling regularly will improve your cardiovascular fitness, it is actually less of a risk factor for impotence than leading a sedentary lifestyle.

I’m an avid cyclist, is there any way of avoiding these symptoms?
There are saddles which take pressure off the perineum and shift the cyclists weight onto the ischial tuberosities (the bones you sit on), which should help, but it’s equally important to take breaks when you can. You don’t have to stop and get off your bike, simply standing up on the pedals will take pressure off the perineum and help reduce compression of the neurovascular supply.

Slow Champion No. 6: Ferdinand GT3 RS

Yes, we know it's a car, but take a look at this amazing piece of art/machine/productoftoomuchtimeonyourhands.


Ferdinand GT3 RS - World's Slowest Porsche

To complement your Slow Cycle, how about a Slow Car? This fantastic piece of engineering was created by Hannes Langeder and now resides in the Lentos Museum of Art in Austria. Weighing in at just under 100kg, the Ferdinand has a thin aluminium skin wrapped around a complex framework of cardboard and PVC. At 13,000 euros, it's certainly the cheapest Porsche you can buy from new, but more importantly, it's the slowest. This Porsche is pedal powered (and dual fuel if you mix your twix and Red Bull). Stick Lance Armstrong in here (who can maintain roughly 350W an hour) and the Ferdinand could produce 0.45 horsepower, slightly less than the 450hp produced by the Porsche GT3 RS, the car on which the Ferdinand was based. What a difference a decimal point makes.

Have a look at the video of the Ferdinand on a racing lap around the Salzburgring, worth watching if nothing else for the sound of the door closing. It's not exactly the reassuring thud that most motoring enthusiasts like to hear is it? Instead, it's more of a weak dull thud and reminiscent of the sound of a goldfish making an unsuccessful bid for freedom.






It's a very green car though and as the slowest Porsche in the world it's a worthy winner of the Slow Champion medal. As this car had been featured on Top Gear, we had hoped Ben Collins The Stig would come to the office to pick up the medal, but he's not answering his phone.

Slow Champion No. 7: Alex Ehrlich
Slow Champion No. 8: Mark King
Slow Champion No. 9: James Whitehouse
Slow Champion No. 10: Mudassar Nazar