Slow Champion No. 1: Luigi Malabrocca

So here he is, our number one in the lowdown of the top 10 Slow Champions:

Luigi Malabrocca - King of the Slow Cyclists

Born in 1920, Malabrocca, an Italian cyclist, won the maglia nera (the black jersey awarded to the last placed rider) in the Giro d’Italia not once but twice! Such was his determination to win the corsa all’ultimo posto (the race for last place) that he would regularly stop and fake a puncture, take an aperitif at the bar, change his wheels and even stop to eat lunch with his many fans. His ‘wins’ took place in 1946 and 1947, and he would have won a third title in 1949 had the race officials not gone home after getting bored waiting for him.

There are those who may suggest that Malabrocca had simply found a good wheeze – he became a celebrity and received a lot of money; he didn’t have to race too hard, appeared in films and was once randomly given a sheep (which he immediately handed over to the hotel’s chef) – but we like to think of him as an innovator and an athlete way ahead of his time.

The black jersey was abolished in 1951 for its negative connotations, but it does live on in the hearts and minds of those who appreciate a good Slow Cycle, and is still recognised among the cycling elite. Currently, the last place rider of the Giro d’Italia is presented with a plate of his backnumber in white on a black background; a subtle nod in recognition of the race for last place.

We look forward to meeting a few more Slow Champions in London Fields this Sunday, and can’t wait to see you all battling it out in the race for last place.

Slow Champion No. 2: Shizo Kanakuri

This one's for all those attempting the marathon next year.

Shizo Kanakuri - slowest marathon

In 1912, Kanakuri entered the 1912 Summer Olympic marathon in Stockholm. He'd been clocking some impressive times in the previous year and had even recorded a marathon world record, although there was some disagreement about the distance of that particular course. This marathon however, wasn't going to be his best showing. Due to the stifling heat, he lost consciousness part way through the race and was cared for by a local farming family. For whatever reason, he decided to return to Japan immediately and got on the first ship home. What he neglected to do was inform the Swedish authorities.

In the eyes of the Olympic and Swedish officials, Kanakuri had simply disappeared. He was officially listed as a missing person and nobody bothered to check if he'd gone home. You have to remember that this was 1912 and were this to happen today, race officials could simply look at his twitter feed to check his progress ('Passed out, gone home. Don't like Sweden anymore.').

Even though Kanakuri raced in the 1920 Olympics, he was still listed as missing in Sweden. As he hadn't retired from the race but had simple gone AWOL, the clock was still ticking..

In 1962, a Swedish journalist tracked down Kanakuri (i.e. he called him at his home) and told him what had happened. In 1966 he was invited back to finish his race and clocked a time of 54 years, 8 months, 6 days, 8 hours, 32 minutes and 20.3 seconds. He was 75.

In his heyday, he was know in Japan as the Father of Marathons. To us, he's a true Slow Champion.

Slow Champion(s) No. 3: Eric Moussabani and Paula Barila Bolopa

You just can’t separate these two.

 Eric Moussambani & Paula Barila Bolopa - slowest swimmers. Ever.

In 2000, they were neck and neck for the Olympic swimming equivalent of the Slow Cycle – last place in the pool. Eric Moussambani in the 100m freestyle; Paula Barila Bolopa the 50m freestyle. Neither athlete, both from Equatorial New Guinea, had swum in a 50m pool before their heat, both took their time getting out again.

Eric Moussambani finished in a time of 1 minute 52.72 seconds, over double the time of Pieter van den Hoogenband who won gold in 48.30 seconds. But who is the real winner? Here at the Slow Cycle it took us 10 minutes to find out who won the 100m freestyle, let alone how to spell his name, whereas EVERYONE knows who Eric the Eel is. A true Slow Champion and ambassador.

Paula Bolopa took 1 minute and 3.97 seconds to finish her heat in the 50m freestyle. The other competitor in the heat had a whole 37 seconds to get her breath back before Paula finished. Paula the Crawler was born.

Both athletes became superstars overnight as the world’s press leaped over themselves in an effort to be the first to portray their never give in, never surrender attitude as the true Olympic spirit™. Remember Liontien van Moorsel or Jenny Thompson? Course you don’t, they only won 3 Gold medals each. Slow rules. Kneel before Eric Moussambani and Paula Barila Bolopa, true Slow Champions.

Slow Champion No. 4: Jackie Cobell

It's a 21 mile swim from Dover to Calais, but for our next Slow Champion, that wasn't quite enough.

Jackie Cobell - Slowest (and longest) Channel Crossing.

On Saturday 24 July 2010 at 6.40am, Jackie launched herself into the channel from Shakespeare Beach in Kent. She'd been planning this for 5 years, had trained every day and was regularly swimming 20 miles a week. She had spent time in the pool, swam across lakes and trained in the sea. With all this work, she'd estimated that it would take her 20-21 hours to make the crossing.

The tide in the English Channel flows North East for 1.5 hours before High Tide and 4.5 hours after, then it switches 180 degrees and flows South West until 1.5 hours before High Tide and the cycle starts again. Then you have to take into account the gravitation pull on the water mass from the sun and the moon, which varies depending on the position of the moon and creates Spring and Neap tides. Confused? So was Jackie..

28 hours and 44 minutes after leaving Kent, Jackie finally landed on French soil, beating the 87 year record of Henry Sullivan for the slowest crossing by nearly 2 hours!

For battling tides with a pull of 4 nautical miles an hour (a good swimmer can swim 1.4nm an hour), not giving up through injury, exhaustion and raising a vast amount of money for research into Huntingdon's disease, she is a true champion, slow or otherwise.

Slow Champion No. 5: John Isner

You probably know this one already, if not for the length of the match then for all the media reports on John McEnroe kicking out a couple of Japanese tourists so he could get in on the action.

John Isner - Longest tennis match

On the 22nd June, John Isner of the USA met Frenchman Nicholas Mahut in the first round of Wimbledon 2010. They met again on the 23rd. And the 24th. 183 games later and with over 11 hours of play behind them, Isner limped to victory, beating Mahut 6-4, 3-6, 6-7 (7-9), 7-6 (7-3), 70-68.

Isner crashed out in the next round but to us and all those who prefer a slower approach to everything in life, both these men are true Slow Champions.

Prostate UK have released advice on cycling with prostate disease

Can cycling affect the prostate?
If you have a prostate problem, be it prostatitis, benign prostate hyperplasia or even prostate cancer, cycling can be uncomfortable, but having any of these conditions shouldn’t necessarily limit or curtail your enjoyment of a sport that has a lot of health benefits. Fighting any disease is always easier when you are in good shape and cycling is a good way of keeping fit.

Cycling may cause a transient rise in PSA (prostate-specific antigen) level and should be avoided 24 hours before a PSA test which is used to gauge prostate health.

I’ve had surgery on my prostate, should I be cycling?
If you have recently undergone surgery, you should avoid cycling. Most surgeons will advise that you avoid cycling (and activities such as motorcycling and horse riding) for at least 6 weeks after surgery.

I’ve heard rumours that cycling can lead to impotence. Is this true?
There is no confirmed link between cycling and impotence (erectile dysfunction). There is anecdotal and limited clinical evidence which seems to confirm that prolonged cycling can cause temporary numbness and discomfort in the penis and perineum (groin).

How might riding a bike do that?
The very nature of cycling means that riders can spend a long period of time in the saddle, which may put pressure on the nerves and arteries that supply the penis and surrounding area. Compromise of these neurovascular structures can lead to periods of numbness, but if symptoms do occur, it’s usually not for a prolonged period of time.

As cycling regularly will improve your cardiovascular fitness, it is actually less of a risk factor for impotence than leading a sedentary lifestyle.

I’m an avid cyclist, is there any way of avoiding these symptoms?
There are saddles which take pressure off the perineum and shift the cyclists weight onto the ischial tuberosities (the bones you sit on), which should help, but it’s equally important to take breaks when you can. You don’t have to stop and get off your bike, simply standing up on the pedals will take pressure off the perineum and help reduce compression of the neurovascular supply.

Slow Champion No. 6: Ferdinand GT3 RS

Yes, we know it's a car, but take a look at this amazing piece of art/machine/productoftoomuchtimeonyourhands.


Ferdinand GT3 RS - World's Slowest Porsche

To complement your Slow Cycle, how about a Slow Car? This fantastic piece of engineering was created by Hannes Langeder and now resides in the Lentos Museum of Art in Austria. Weighing in at just under 100kg, the Ferdinand has a thin aluminium skin wrapped around a complex framework of cardboard and PVC. At 13,000 euros, it's certainly the cheapest Porsche you can buy from new, but more importantly, it's the slowest. This Porsche is pedal powered (and dual fuel if you mix your twix and Red Bull). Stick Lance Armstrong in here (who can maintain roughly 350W an hour) and the Ferdinand could produce 0.45 horsepower, slightly less than the 450hp produced by the Porsche GT3 RS, the car on which the Ferdinand was based. What a difference a decimal point makes.

Have a look at the video of the Ferdinand on a racing lap around the Salzburgring, worth watching if nothing else for the sound of the door closing. It's not exactly the reassuring thud that most motoring enthusiasts like to hear is it? Instead, it's more of a weak dull thud and reminiscent of the sound of a goldfish making an unsuccessful bid for freedom.






It's a very green car though and as the slowest Porsche in the world it's a worthy winner of the Slow Champion medal. As this car had been featured on Top Gear, we had hoped Ben Collins The Stig would come to the office to pick up the medal, but he's not answering his phone.

Slow Champion No. 7: Alex Ehrlich
Slow Champion No. 8: Mark King
Slow Champion No. 9: James Whitehouse
Slow Champion No. 10: Mudassar Nazar

Slow Champion No. 7: Alex Ehrlich

Those of you who live in London may have noticed that in August there were one or two new additions to the urban landscape: ping pong tables. With this kind of random invasion, you couldn't help but think that the dearly departed Douglas Adams had a hand in organising it, but it was in fact the work of pinglondon.com, a website set up by the English Table Tennis Association to promote ping pong.

Ping pong is not an activity you'd usually associate with slowness; followers of this sport are regularly exposed to matches of such speed and ferocity they can hardly see the ball. Enter our latest Slow Champion, Alex Ehrlich.

Alex Ehrlich - longest ping pong rally

In a World Cup table tennis match in 1936, Polish-born Ehrlich was playing Paneth Farcas of Romania. Both were pretty defensive players but it was Ehrlich with his never give in, never surrender, never do anything interesting style who had earned the nickname 'king of the chisellers'. On their opening rally, they started a point that would end up in the history books. It lasted for TEN THOUSAND hits. That's more than occur in whole tennis or cricket matches! At the end of the rally, when Farcas finally lost the point, Ehrlich had switched to returning southpaw and had begun a chess game with an onlooker. Had Ehrlich been an easier name to spell, he would surely have done for the phrase "showboater".

The match was eventually abandoned, when the referee's neck locked (hey, you try turning your head 12,000 times), so the effort from both these athletes eventually came to nothing. A story of true Slow Champion behaviour if ever we've heard one.

Ehrlich, we who are about to race slowly salute you. Here's your medal.

Slow Champion No. 8: Mark King
Slow Champion No. 9: James Whitehouse
Slow Champion No. 10: Mudassar Nazar

Slow Champion No. 8: Mark King

And you thought Snooker couldn't get more boring tense.

Mark King - Longest frame of snooker at the Crucible

On the 26th of April, 2009, Stephen Maguire won the 16th frame against Mark King at the crucible in 1 hour and 15 minutes. Even though Maguire won, King gets the nod for sticking it out and not falling alseep on the green baize.

Slow Champion No. 9: John Whitehouse
Slow Champion No. 10: Mudassar Nazar

Slow Champion No. 9: John Whitehouse

On Wednesday 31 September, 2005, most people were watching episode 4140 of Emmerdale (Zoe refuses Sadie's offer to buy Home farm), but the real drama of the night was watched by the 122 people in Kent who witnessed the FA Cup preliminary round replay between Tunbridge Wells and Littlehampton Town.

John Whitehouse - Longest FA Cup penalty shootout

In an epic display of forward play, dynamism and ludicrously poor refereeing, this FA Cup tie went to a penalty shoot out that would (eventually) go down in history. 40 agonising penalties later, Tunbridge Wells had won 2-2 (16-15).

The hero of the hour(s) was John Whitehouse, Wells' goalkeeper, who saved 4 penalties throughout the game. By keeping his sheet slightly cleaner than his opposite number, he earns a place in our top ten. Good lad.

Slow Champion No.10: Mudassar Nazar

Slow Champion No. 10: Mudassar Nazar

With only two weeks to go, we are counting down to the Slow Cycle with a list of the top 10 Slow Champions. A Slow Champion is a suitably sluggish sedentary superstar, an ambassador for slow sports the world over.

Mudassar Nazar - Slowest Test Century

Mudassar Nazar, a member of the Pakistan Cricket team, took 557 minutes to reach his maiden test century  against England in Lahore on 14 December 1997. He was caught and bowled by Geoff Miller on 114 runs. He'd faced  449 balls and hit 12 fours over 591 minutes of proper Test batting: that's over 9 hours! Even Geoffrey Boycott was heard to say "hurry up".*

Let's get this man a bike and bring him over for the Slow Cycle, he definitely deserves a Slow Champion medal.

* May or may not be true.

Slow tune No. 5: Bicycle Safety Rap - Sam Spoke

Pedal power

Apparently, it takes 18 cyclists to power a hairdryer. Half that, and you can toast some bread. Add these cyclists together, throw in a few more and you'd be able to boil a kettle. Not exactly a great return for your effort, is it?

Well thank the biker for the Slow Cycle. 1000 cyclists entering the Slow Cycle will raise enough funds for Prostate UK to send a surgeon on a urological fellowship, where they will receive the latest training in laparoscopic, robotic and pelvic oncology. This training will help in the fight to save some of the 10,000 men who die from prostate cancer every year in the UK, so they too can dry their hair, grab a bite of toast and belt down that cuppa.

Mr Benjamin Eddy, studying with the help of Prostate UK

Saddle solutions

Cycling can be a bit of a pain if you've got prostate problems, but there are alternatives to getting the tube bus every morning to avoid saddle soreness.

A British company called RIDO have been tweaking their award winning ergonomic saddles for the last few years and have now come up with a product that is getting rave reviews from both the cycling press and riders with delicate undercarriages. road.cc said  "If numbness or discomfort is an issue for you, check out the R2." CTC note "[they] look odd, but who cares? They work."

The principle behind this type of saddle, and there are others like the BodyGeometry range from Specialized, is to take the weight off the crotch (perineum) and place the weight of the rider firmly on the Sit bones (ischial tuberosities). You will be able to feel your Sit bones as you sit reading this: rock back in your seat slightly and you'll feel your weight shift on to two bony prominences under your buttocks. These are the ischial tuberosities. By shifting the rider's weight onto the Sit bones, pressure is taken off the delicate areas of the crotch, decreasing the likelihood of vascular or neurological compromise.

As with all forms or ergonomics, this is not an exact science and there's little in the way of substantial evidence to back up every claim, but there is a growing number of people, both cyclists and doctors, who have put their name forward in backing these types of saddles. RIDO even have a carbon-based version of the R2 coming out (at 445g, the normal R2 is a bit of a beast) for all you weight conscious racers.

Slow tunes No. 4: Bicycle Race - Queen

You say hey, I say yo
You say fast, I say slow..

Slow Tube?

It appears that the RMT and TSSA have taken the Slow Cycle philosophy to heart and are busy applying it to other forms of transport.

Whilst we accept that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, we feel duty bound to point out that under rule 5 of the Slow Cycle, you can only enter the race with a bike (the clue is in the title) with two wheels or less. As your average tube carriage has 8 wheels, and is, by design, a train, we will not be accepting entries from the 16.42 to Cockfosters.

Sorry Bob. Time to get back to work, eh?

Slow tunes No.3: Speed Demon - Michael Jackson

As it's Friday and the sun is shining, today's slow jam from our Slow Cycle Spotify playlist bends the rules slightly. But with animation like this, who can resist?

Dispute

Saw this on the commute into work today. We're currently in discussion with our lawyers regarding whether this is breaching the Slow Cycle copyright. WE'RE the only Cyclist Diversion in town.

 

 

Slow tunes No. 2: We have all the time in the world, Tindersticks

Louis who?

Rules, Rules, Rules

We've had a few questions sent in from people regarding the exact rules of the Slow Cycle, one of which was asking whether by not entering at all, they would record the slowest time and thus win the £100 cycling vouchers. Now we appreciate an existentialist debate as much as the next person, but this is a competition and so to make it fair we have set out a few rules.

• No touching the floor
  Once you have both feet on the pedals you must not take them off again until you've reached the end of the course. Anyone seen dabbing will have to start again.

• No trackstands
  You must keep moving at all times, stopping for any length of time is not permitted.

• Bikes must travel forward only

• No leaving your lane

• Two wheels good, four wheels better are not allowed
  Style points will be awarded to anyone attempting the course on a unicycle, but any participants wishing to do so should make note of rule 3.

• No touching other riders
  You can't do it in a swimming pool and you can't do it here either.

• The Marshal's decision is final.

So that's it. Not too bad really, is it? Any questions? Email or give us a call.

Late for work

We've just had an email in this morning from Rachel, which all you Slow Cyclists might be interested in.

'Just been ticked off by my boss for getting in 20 minutes late. Told her I was in training for the Slow Cycle, but she wasn't having any of it, even after showing her the website to prove it was a genuine event!'

So there you go, don't use that excuse, just tell your boss about the local pothole management that's going on in your area:

Thanks to Ade at howies

Slow tunes No. 1: Múm - Slow Bicycle

Over the next few weeks we will be sharing our favourite Slow tunes selected from our Spotify collection. Thought of a great song to add? Click the Slow tunes on Spotify Link on the right of the blog and add your track to the growing list. If it's particularly awesome, we'll list it here.

Here's a super slow tune to get you in the mood for some seriously languid training:

Countdown to the Slow Cycle

It's the first of September, which means it's now only 26 days until the Prostate UK Slow Cycle!

For such a slow and somewhat sedentary event, it's been amazing how quickly people have signed up to enter the Slow Cycle. Whilst you can't fault this early showing of enthusiasm, we suggest a somewhat slower approach be adopted on race day to be within a chance of winning the coveted title of Slowest Cyclist in Britain. First to sign up, last across the line would be a tremendous effort.

Bike lovers worldwide have also been quick to note this landmark event. Moving Target, the Mecca for all messengers, fakengers and other delivery types, threw the gauntlet down suggesting that a London courier should win easily. TFL, road.cc and cyclechat quickly got in on the game, advertising the Slow Cycle to their thousands of subscribers, follwed by multiple tweets from as far away as Spain to as near to home as CTC and londoncyclist. In fact, so many people are talking about this race that we're now first in the Google UK search listing for Slow Cycle!

We'll be updating this blog regularly in the build up to race day, so keep visiting to get the lowdown on all things bike related, to see some great examples of world class slowness and keep up to date with all the latest news on the race for last place.